Times Are Tough

... even the religion business is suffering. Consider the "Ebenezer AME Church" (wonder if that's anything to do with AMC cinemas?)

The congregation, one of America's largest, has been scrambling to raise funds to save the arena-sized sanctuary from potential foreclosure

Have they appealed to the Holy Trinity for deliverance? Not exactly

it has enlisted national leaders, such as the Rev. Jesse Jackson and Harvard Law School's Charles Ogletree, who was President Barack Obama's law professor.

2 out of three ain't bad.

At times like these I'd advise the faithful at the Ebeneezer to turn to the book of Jereboth, in the appendix to the Apocrypha. For 'tis written:


There's a guy in the place
He's got a bittersweet face
And he goes by the name of Ebeneezer Goode
His friends call him Eezer and he is the main geezer
And he'll vibe about the place
Like no other man could
He's refined, sublime, he makes you feel fine
Though very much maligned and misunderstood
But if you know Eezer he's a real crowd pleaser
He's ever so good, he's Ebeneezer Goode
You can see that he's mysterious,
Mischievious and devious
As he circulates amongst the people in the place
But once you know he's fun
And something of a genius
He gives a grin that grows around
From face to face to face
Backwards and then forwards,
Forwards and then backwards
Eezer is the geezer who loves to muscle in
That's about the time the crowd
All shout the name of Eezer
As he's kotcheled in the corner,
Laughing by the bass bin