Sunday, October 25, 2009

"Do you think we 'ave forgotten Agincourt?"

594 years ago today the English Army under Henry V delivered the latest in a long series of well-deserved thrashings to the French at Agincourt.

British schoolboys were always told the English were outnumbered 5 to 1 (at least when I was at school - now they are probably doing finger painting, talking about their feelings, or studying "climate change")

Anyway a bunch of leftie researchers have now discovered by consulting tax records (no way 600 year old tax records would be anything less than totally accurate) that in fact it wasn't such a victory after all.

Because the English were only outnumbered 2 to 1

When you're fighting the French, then, it's only a decent victory if they outnumber you 10 to 1 or more.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Alice in Wonderland

I'm reading my daughter Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Written back in 1865 when the Civil War was still on, it's about a little girl who falls down a well into a strange land where nothing is as it seems.

Just like Illinois.

Today in the Sun-Times, and I had to read this a couple of times and check it wasn't April 1st, it says that the widow of mob enforcer Anthony Spilotro is working at the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation. They "license everything from barbers to banks and architects to veterinarians. We also oversee most of the state’s financial institutions, which have combined assets in excess of $4 trillion."

It's great news they have people with such deep and relevant experience deciding who's a fit and proper person to do business in this great state of ours!

I'm tempted to apply for a business license and see if they ask if you've ever "whacked" anybody, or whether you've ever had a business dispute with somebody and did you solve it (a) through the courts (b) with a baseball bat (c) a garotte (d) a meat hook or (e) Joe Pesci

You couldn't make it up. Truly the Sun-Times can be funnier than The Onion, even if a typical front page now looks like this

Sunday, October 11, 2009

News from the Ghetto

A bunch of people living in a housing project in the UK are distraught that an inspection has resulted in some of their most treasured possessions being removed as a fire risk