Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Did you get rid of the dead flies in the soup?"

Restaurant reopens in Atlanta, after getting the second lowest hygiene score in state history

Ideal for winding up lefties

This could only be better if Fred was driving a Hummer

Government Bailout Roundup

Fannie Mae: Bailed out by US Taxpayer

Freddie Mac: Bailed out by US Taxpayer

Bernie Mac: Not believed to be seeking large sums of federal money

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A trip to the beach

Today the family took a trip to the workers' paradise of Evanston, just north of the Socialist Republic of Chicago.

The local authorities leave you in no doubt as to the risk you run should you head to the beach.

Believe it or not, dear visitor, but there are a lot of places you can go in Chicago which are riskier even than Lake Michigan - mean and terrible though this body of water is.

Later, though, I had cause to wonder if maybe the people who put this sign up were on to something, when I came across this:

I don't know what killed this fish - but maybe it was the same thing which turned it that interesting shade of yellow.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

More news from Europe

Members of the European Parliament step outside to get some air during a break in the proceedings.

Police extinguish burning man

Some news from the land of lunacy.

Apparently some police used their bare hands to extinguish a guy who had set himself on fire after his pit bull was killed.

Personally, I'd have broken out the marshmallows and wieners, but each to his own.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Weekend Fun

"Where are Abdullah and the boys?"

"They went out looking for an SAS guy"

"What happened?"

"They found one."

People driven mad by Socialism

Here are photos from inside a gift shop in Bruges, Belgium. Belgium is the home of the European Union and is essentially the home of international socialism.

OK so they started out selling souvenirs and other crap. And I mean CRAP.

But gradually the owner of the shop, swamped by government inspectors, bureaucrats, taxes and fees, began to lose it. He was selling a few waste paper baskets already (see above). But seduced by the lure of the disposal receptacle and assisted probably by government grants aimed at reducing the size of the EU bin mountain the owner now offers practically nothing else!

So for all your waste paper disposal needs, contact the owner, Norbert Van Clonk, 29 Rue De Passchendaele, Brugge, Belgium, EU 1984

Life Under Socialism

One thing you notice about Socialist countries, they need the huge taxes on gasoline and everything motoring-related in order to support their bloated top-heavy bureaucracies. But they hate the freedom offered by the car, and so you find that while taking money from motorists they also make life difficult with speed cameras, license plate readers, road closures, narrowing, speed humps and other so called 'traffic calming' measures.

The cost of motoring forces people to drive stupid cars like this

And this. Note: Just adding the stripes, does not a Dodge Viper make

And this - the world's first car capable of being dwarfed by a Filipina

You couldn't make it up

So here in Illinois they require emissions tests on vehicles over 4 years old before you can renew your license plates. The related bureaucracy provides a good living for a bunch of unemployables, no doubt, and the laws concerning what actually goes in to the gasoline ensure we have the highest gas prices in the nation. Of course that doesn't concern the people who actually make these laws most of whom drive official vehicles and get all their gas paid by the working man.

The result is I've had to drive 20 miles to a testing station and am now sat in a slow-moving line of about a hundred idling vehicles waiting my turn for the test. Great for the environment or what?

When are people going to wake up and realize how much better life would be without these lying, sleazy, corrupt parasites in government? Maybe they should start by looking at connections between the suppliers of emissions testing equipment and government employees. Just a thought.

Friday, July 18, 2008

In a word: "Bullshit"

Thank you E&Y for this comic opportunity

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sharepoint Value Proposition

In case any managers reading this are wondering, here is my take on the value of Microsoft SharePoint.

* A team of 10 can deliver a solution in a month which previously would have taken a single ASP.NET developer 2 weeks.

* The developed application will work fine only in the development environment. Deployment is another project of approximately the same length as the development project.

* The team won't be able to work with low-spec computers. Each will need at least a 4GB dual core laptop to run the 2 or 3 virtual machines required. With such a platform, developers will achieve the same level of productivity as mainframe developers working in green screen managed back in 1985.

* There is no documentation. The samples don't work. Get used to it. Think Windows programming pre-Petzold.

* The next release of SharePoint will break everything.

So you can now see the true value of this product.... to the likes of Accenture!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Mail Asks: Is this Britain's Worst Family

Here we read the delightful story of the Shackleton family. A brief summary:

A mother whose notorious family were dubbed the worst in Britain for amassing close to 250 criminal convictions was facing jail yesterday over an £85,000 benefits swindle.

Until last year Shackleton, who has the names of her three sons, Gary, Mark and Paul Alderson, tattooed on her arms, lived in Benwell, Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

But after the Shackletons racked up 40 arrests between them in less than six months Shackleton, her children and partner, Colin Alderson, became the first in the area to be evicted from a private property in July last year.

Whilst Shackleton herself has a lengthy list of 21 shoplifting convictions to her name, her partner and her children's stepfather has criminal record stretching back 30 years and includes 21 offences, including attacking police officers, burglary and drunken disorder.

Her eldest son, Mark, is the most prolific of the three brothers with 92 convictions.

His criminal record dates back to 1994, when at the age of 14 he was convicted of burglary, vehicle interference, theft of a car and driving without a licence or insurance.

The 28-year-old also has a string of convictions for common assault and has spent time in jail.

His sibling, Paul, 26, was convicted of dwelling house burglary in 1993, when he was 12.

In 2000, he was found guilty of going equipped to steal, two counts of criminal damage, a public order offence, perverting the course of justice, breaching a conditional discharge and a string of driving offences.

The 21-year-old got his first conviction at the age of 11 for burglary and has not looked back since.

His offences range from being found on enclosed premises to possession of cannabis.

He became notorious for tearing around in stolen cars and hurling drunken abuse at passers-by.

Having lived in the UK and seen some of the competition, I don't think this is Britain's worst family. I doubt it's in the top 5,000.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

In The News

Here a former hardline communist and leader of a country where the media is nothing more than a government mouthpiece and all opposition has been completely neutered meets President Medvedev of Russia.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Make a wish foundation comes through for dying Briton

Grants his dying request to empty airplane toilets over Paris

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

EU Bureaucrats Spotted At Wimbledon

More Here

Two separate worlds?

"Women used to tease me/Give it to me now nice and easy/Since I moved up like George and Weezy/Cream to the maximum/I be askin' em/Do you wanna bounce wit a brother that's platinum?"

-Will Smith

"The sex is sweet, the sex is sweet, you want it, and you want to go with me."

-State Senator J. James Marzilli Jr

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Why I love America

This is a story about a guy who shot two burglars in the act of running away from robbing his neighbour's house, and found himself in front of a grand jury.

The grand jury refused to indict him.

And interestingly, I can't see anybody protesting in defense of the burglars.

As far as I can see people are complaining that IF the shooter had been black, he wouldn't have been treated the same and the grand jury would have indicted him. But since he wasn't, we'll never know, will we?

Tonight I will raise a glass to Joe Horn and the Houston grand jury.

Mr. Horn, you're welcome to move in next to me any day!