Today the family took a trip to the workers' paradise of Evanston, just north of the Socialist Republic of Chicago.
The local authorities leave you in no doubt as to the risk you run should you head to the beach.
Believe it or not, dear visitor, but there are a lot of places you can go in Chicago which are riskier even than Lake Michigan - mean and terrible though this body of water is.
Later, though, I had cause to wonder if maybe the people who put this sign up were on to something, when I came across this:
I don't know what killed this fish - but maybe it was the same thing which turned it that interesting shade of yellow.