I'm reading my daughter Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Written back in 1865 when the Civil War was still on, it's about a little girl who falls down a well into a strange land where nothing is as it seems.
Just like Illinois.
Today in the Sun-Times, and I had to read this a couple of times and check it wasn't April 1st, it says that the widow of mob enforcer Anthony Spilotro is working at the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation. They "license everything from barbers to banks and architects to veterinarians. We also oversee most of the state’s financial institutions, which have combined assets in excess of $4 trillion."
It's great news they have people with such deep and relevant experience deciding who's a fit and proper person to do business in this great state of ours!
I'm tempted to apply for a business license and see if they ask if you've ever "whacked" anybody, or whether you've ever had a business dispute with somebody and did you solve it (a) through the courts (b) with a baseball bat (c) a garotte (d) a meat hook or (e) Joe Pesci
You couldn't make it up. Truly the Sun-Times can be funnier than The Onion, even if a typical front page now looks like this